Then a spark of understanding brushed against me: I am the saboteur.

I talk so much about love without daring to live what it is. I talk about peace and freedom while, inside me, I hold the natural breathing of my heart captive, giving it no quarter.

I ask you to be happy from my dark burrow of putting off my own happiness. I ask you to change yourself instead of trying to change others, while I wallow in frustration because you won't change.

I push and pull. I say and gainsay. I do and undo. I set the intention without paying attention. I play out a comedy and break down crying.

How human I am.