Confessions of a Geek

I set an episode before you. It is a personal episode, because for there to be an episode I have to be a person who interprets it.
In the current view of my realities, I perceive something curious before me. At first I don't know what it is. It tastes strange. It gets in my way.
My childhood was strange. Or at least it seemed that way to me. What made being alive so uncomfortable? Why does no one else seem to suffer?

Wait, because I'm starting to see. There is something.
It's a window.
In the flow of my thoughts, there are pathways. As in all things. There is a space through which things pass. There are dimensions, like length, width and depth.
Thoughts come because they are not here. That's why they come. They come from outside. That is why they come. They come from some window. From a connection between inside and outside. Through the connection between outside and inside, what is outside comes inside.
That window in the psyche is open to many things. If I tilt it to one side, the forces that dwell on that side get tuned in, making those realities visible. Ideally, I seek my orient, where no energy can affect me. But it feels difficult.
When I'm drowsy, something sweeps me away and I have no control over what I'm perceiving. And what I'm perceiving is a world of adventures, colors and shapes. Hobbies, fantasies, dreams, desires. All those factors of nothing form a context with specific aromas. As a result, I like software development, the perfection of mathematics and the drive to learn how to live.
As these shapes settle into the position and order they were designed with, what might be habits of action begin to glimmer through. Now I can define myself as a geek: I have a window open.

How many little things did I let slip by while I contemplated the beauty of a possibility?
Thousands of possibilities. Every genius is a madman, for genius is a kind of madness. Imagination is the key that opens every door. I am so grateful to have this unimultiple possibility. I give what I have.
Are there glitches? Yes, because I am so much myself that I don't know how to be myself. That is, I am very me, to the point that, for me, everything is me. On the side where my window catches the breeze, rigid tendencies take shape. To mention one, there is the habit of never quite managing to get my appearance right.
In my window, there is humility. Humility, which is not feeling humble. Humility is knowing who I am.
In the art of calibrating the artistic and fantasmagorical flavor, there are tools that get used with good aim and common sense. It is an art, because you have to perfect the ability to handle the world. It is an art because it requires mastery. It is an art because, to do it, you have to die in your full presence.

It is an art because it feels difficult but, when I position myself precisely, it is natural. It is an art because the effortless nature of being demands my utmost and exclusive effort. I like to tune in to specific galaxies in faraway universes, and for that I must establish a perfect, self-sustaining communication with those adventures.
We are all geeks. Because we all have hobbies, fantasies, dreams and desires. We are all out of place, since we don't know we are more than just a geek. I accept myself, just as I am. I am the same as you.
We all have the possibility open to tune in to madness and genius. You just have to know how to be mad.
Life is a paradox.