There's No Other Way

The key is still forgiveness.

I've already turned it over every possible way, tried every hypothetical solution.

I've already tried to prefer, seduced by the sweet songs of the sirens.

I've already justified myself with ideas soaked in my laments, while my country dies in the hands of my longed-for oppressor.

I've already demanded that life be the way I want it to be, forgetting how supremely precious each instant is.

I've already wept, suffocated by my omnipresent refusal to forgive, raving with moralistic rebellions in this encounter with my autonomy.

Forgiving is not an action,

Forgiving is the process of returning to my own autonomous breathing.

Yes, I was a fool. And though no one says it to my face, I still am.

Yes, I was wrong. And by my own individual judgment, so were those who wronged me.

"And it was buried, transformed and transmuted by all the sacred and mighty Saints who protect me when I fall asleep in the current."

And heeding the voice of "should," I performed the ceremony of forgiving a thousand times seven. It still weighed the same: too much.

And then I began to listen to myself.

At first, as I steadied myself in that posture, I heard chance, clamor, suffocation, confusion.

I resisted interpreting the intensity of my sensations of life.

I devoted myself to letting the air circulate in the naturally living activity of my chest.

I tried, not as an action but as a decision, being free.

And look: in that center, everything fits.

Everything has meaning, purpose and vibration.

If a single particle were different from how it really is, the whole universe would be hypothetical.

Everything is as it is,

Everything was as it was.

The realization of this is not intellectual, it is lived.

What remains, after the wind's sigh, is the discovery of what I myself decided to feel, back then.

What remains, on this wet Earth, is the honesty of what I am feeling now.

And although at times I feel like a tourist forced to land a Boeing, I am living all my mistakes in the first person, with my sacred dignity as witness.

I will keep making mistakes, I will keep experiencing. But nothing in this universe, nor in all the hypothetical ones, will ever defeat forgiveness. My unconditional loyalty is the result of how much I know of myself.

The key fits. All is well. The chest breathes in harmony.

Only silence remains.