Flocks of Black Sheep

Oh, wild heart! Great is your strength. Mighty is your drive for life. How far do you want to go? Where do you want to take me?

I was born wild and soon got lost in an absurd world. An innocent white ram, tainted by a system of ambition.
Bombarded with advertising, harassed with education, uniformed with beliefs. Where did that infant soul go, the one that ran free with no anguish or worries?
Maybe it was the system, an atrocious structure that crushed the world.
It was that media outlet that brainwashed me, it was that other one that deceived me. It was a corporation, the most wicked of all, it was that boss, the most corrupt of all.

No, I am not to blame for my wickedness. It was others who corrupted me... Or at least that's what I thought when my heart rebelled.

I felt that bitter burn that injustice tastes of. I felt the hatred of seeing myself crushed by the power of the ruthless. I felt the pain of believing myself manipulated by the capricious will of those who don't know how to love. I felt that, mixed in among millions of equals, I had an urgent need to make my unique individuality stand out above all the others. I had to raise my voice and make myself heard.

I took up some flags to oppose the others. I built towers of philosophies and ideals trying to neutralize those on my own side. "Poor conformists," I laughed at my brothers, not knowing that they too called themselves "Black sheep." I laughed at the world believing I was changing it, believing I was important and that I was angering the cruel cowboys who herd the stupid consumerist animals that follow them into the pit.

But how am I any different from my fellows? I have failed you, beautiful heart that beats unconditionally in my chest! For your living, burning fire I have aimed at your own ruin.
Because they tell me "Settle down" precisely so that I will rebel and say "No." And by saying "No," I drown your beating. They tell me "Be tame" so that I will hate, and this hatred feeds the monster that rules the world. Rebelling so senselessly, hating so stupidly, I am meekly bowing my head before the evil that has corrupted me.

Rebellion makes me uniform. Individualism turns me into the masses. Saying "I" cancels me out. Does devoting myself to waging war make me independent of war?

Rescue me, beloved heart! You are still clean, despite my follies. You are still alive, despite my wickedness. No one can rule you, no one can conquer you. Save me, for you are pure forever. Teach me to forgive my brothers, those who dominate and those who also like to be dominated. Teach me to recognize myself as free, whether I walk in a cage or on the greenest mountain. Teach me, unconditionally, to love.